Wednesday, July 31, 2024

The Superpower Of Kamala's Positive Energy

Now that little eyes aren’t here reading over my shoulder, I want to share a Granddaughter #3 story that will join an essay I wrote about a similar special moment with #2 when she was around the same age. 

 This story started with #3 seeing Kamala Harris on television. She smiled immediately but the smile disappeared almost as quickly as it had come. With a somewhat troubled expression, she asked why I stuck Amy over the top of Kamala on my bumper. I explained that during that primary race--which, since she's seven years old, required an entire lesson about political parties, primaries, and generals--Kamala Harris and Amy Klobuchar were tied in first place for me. I was excited about the prospect of having either of them as the next president. There was one big thing that I liked better about each of them so I was having a hard time deciding who I was going to vote for in that election. I sent donations to both while I decided. 

Of course she asked, and I explained what it was for each. I told her why I had decided to go with Kamala - a story and a confession this time. I had left my daughters at home while I went to pick up a mixed-race teen from basketball practice. My experience had always been that the car was the best time to get kids to open up and I suspected he had been carrying some heavy thoughts for days. The alone-in-the-car trick worked. He opened up and went deeper than I anticipated. He said he was having a hard time figuring out who he was supposed to be. He already had a white mother and felt like I was a second white mother which seemed like a betrayal to his mother and to make it even worse, he felt white but he looked black like his father. And then he hit me with what sounded like regret that he looked black because no black man had ever been president so he didn't believe he could be anything he wanted to be. 

This was not a cross country drive and I am a big talker so I wasn't sure I was going to be able to make even a tiny dent in the conversation before we reached the house. My inept response was that he was beautiful and perfect just the way he was, and he sure as hell could be anything he wanted to be. And I found some awkward words about being grateful that his mother shared so much of him with me because if I had a son of my own I would want my son to be just like him. 

By the time we got to the house, I realized that my daughter might have had some of these same concerns. I'm white and her father is brown and we've never had a Hispanic president, either. I hated myself a little for never thinking of her as anything but my beautiful daughter, even years before when I had asked why her friend down the street always came to our house and never invited her to their house, and I got the disappointing response - a shrug and, "I don't know. Her mom said her dad doesn't like chicks so I can't come to their house." I was certain the word wasn't chicks so I was glad her little friend was on our front porch waiting when we got home every night and stayed until bedtime. 

But I didn't consider that my daughter had known what that meant. Or wondered if she heard things like that at school. What if she had feelings similar to the ones this young man was expressing to me. What if she thought there were things she couldn't do because she was brown? We all had a serious talk over dinner that night. 

So, the Kamala bumper sticker went on the car because my daughter and granddaughters needed to see a brown woman be president. Of course, I shortened that story quite a bit and made it seven-year-old appropriate. And explained that when Kamala dropped out of the race and I felt certain she had a chance at VP slot, I left her bumper sticker on my car and put Amy’s over the corner of it - still wanting to show my support for both. 

#3 liked my reason for choosing Kamala first, keeping her on, and supporting both. We talked a bit about how we liked saying her name. I picked up on that when she repeated it several times for no reason. I told her about Mamala. She loved that.

And I told her, once again, how much she (#3) has in common with little #2, who is 14 years older than #3. #2 walked around saying BarackObamaBarackObamaBarackObama the way other kids sing Baby Shark. She also wrote it up and down the sidewalk and in front of my neighbors’ doors. We didn’t need yard signs. 

#3 reminded me that she loves Barack Obama, too. I said of course you do, everyone does. (I didn't remind her that when she was a baby, she called me Obama instead of Gramma for about a year and we never figured out if she did that because she couldn't pronounce Gramma of if it was because she knew how much I loved him.) She asked why. I asked why do I love him or why does everyone love him? 

I explained both. I adore him because he’s the closest anyone had ever come to being just like my dad to me, and what makes that special is that just being their presence makes people feel better. They both exude (exuded, in Daddy’s case) palpable goodness. And I saw huge tears in her eyes. I expected her to say. “Your dad is dead,” but apparently she has outgrown reminding me and her mother that our dads are dead. 

When I asked about the tears, she said she was embarrassed to tell me and I said it might make me cry if I have to know she doesn’t feel comfortable telling me something. So, she told me - hearing me talk about Barack Obama makes her love him "that" much. She just “feels” it. The love comes off of me onto her.

Wow! I told her that proves what I was saying about him. The profound positive energy that I felt the first time I was in a room with him will live in me forever, and I am able to share that with her, and with other people. She blinked more tears off and nodded. Like she really got it. 

She thought for a few seconds before she asked, “Can you really do that? Share the energy? And he can, too?” I assured her that she does the same. She’s the kindest person I know and she spreads that good energy everywhere she goes. It’s her superpower that she didn’t even know she had. 

“And love?” she asked. “We can spread love into the world?” Yep. I promised we can. And we can receive it if we spend our time with the right people. 

And that is exactly what Kamala Harris is doing right now. She is spreading positive energy. We're laughing and dancing and exhaling. Oh, how we are exhaling. Years of stored up good energy that we were afraid wouldn't have anywhere to land. Now, everyone is ready to inhale that good energy and blow it back out into the world.

I made a special point to tell her that because I am old and don’t work or go to school, I have the luxury of seeing only people I want to see now. And because I am especially susceptible to the energy around me, I carefully choose to only spend my time with people who have good hearts and want the best for everyone. She doesn’t have that luxury yet so she needs to work on putting out her positive energy and not taking in energy from people who want to hurt others. The sweet girl held her hand in front of her face and showed me that she can breathe back in her own positive energy if she's around bad people.

We spent some time inhaling deeply and exhaling loving energy that we both admitted we were receiving from the other without any effort. It was like Qigong on the couch.

The kids need Kamala Harris to be our next President (that's not a trumpish error - I believe she will absolutely win that capital P. And the world will be a better place because of her.



Saturday, August 12, 2023

JCPS BusGate

Call me a conspiracy theorist if you want. It won't make me wrong or you right. My record of connecting dots and identifying conspiracies is near perfect so I am sharing this prediction. 


This JCPS bus mess is undoubtedly tied to RW takeover of Jefferson County and is to be used to help unqualified, deplorable Daniel Cameron. The irony is that HE (and the unbelievable and unexplainable Republican takeover of AG, SoS, and both state houses for the first time in a century) owns the most hideous part of the Breonna Taylor case and this is and will be connected by outsiders to Breonna Taylor in an attempt to use this to start a racial war and allow Republicans to take over Louisville. We cannot let this happen.


THINK: FL Rs firing ELECTED Democrats. It has happened in other red states. And they all share a brain and an agenda.

Friday, May 19, 2023

Go To Hell, Please, Ma'am

 Several things on Facebook and a conversation with my sister over the past few days have reminded me how progressive and wise my mother was. And, I realized late in her life, after my father's death, that she was pretty much a mirror of the men in her life so my dad probably gets much of the credit. 


The most recent reminder involves actions versus words. We were not required or encouraged to say ma'am and sir, to call people Mr and Mrs, or to use aunt and uncle, especially for people who were not blood relatives. I asked her once, when I was around eight years old, why the neighbor kids were required to say ma'am and sir, and should I have to say that to their parents since they said it to mine. She said no, I didn't have to use those words if they didn't feel natural to me. More importantly, though, she told me that I was always polite and kind, and as far as she knew, no one thought I was disrespectful to them. Yet, there were kids in the neighborhood who called her ma'am but their tones and actions were disrespectful. She laughed and said one boy's parents would be okay with him telling her to go to hell as long as he added, "Please, ma'am," at the end.


And that's why I don't play stupid games. You get what's real from me.

Sunday, September 18, 2022

Republicans Remain Free To Incite Violence

 

These words,
<>"as long as the former president remains free to incite violence in much
the way he did on Jan 6, 2020
"<> 
clipped from this RawStory.com article, The worst is yet to come, were red flag words to me and should be a call to action for all of us who want to see the people who make threats, incite violence, and act out their (or that of their favorite politicians) hatred through violence held accountable.
 
I saw both Kentucky Senators (McConnell and Paul) get air time to trot their wives out and feign fear of Democrats/liberals/perceived enemies who had said unkind words to them in public, which is the only place those of us who have to suffer their lies and votes can communicate with them since they only invite donors and known sycophants to their events and use guards, law enforcement, and hired thugs to keep the public away from them and their offices. The clear, although carefully crafted legally veiled messages to their radicalized, heavily-armed  domestic terrorist base was to STOP the people who said words or carried posters that they didn't appreciate.  
 
I recognized exactly what they were doing and knew we needed to act.
 
We've all seen, even those who refuse to admit it, Republicans insisting that the first amendment gives them the right to use the second amendment to stop anyone who doesn't agree with them, and how those not-so-subliminal messages have been acted on by people who heard them. See Palin and Trump(ers) at the January 6 Insurrection. I published these three articles, shared them widely, and screamed from my roof top (or desk chair).
 
 
 
 
And things have gotten progressively worse at rapid speed so I'm screaming louder today.
 
I am calling on everyone to make official reports to local law enforcement and FBI about every credible threats or examples of anyone (especially elected officials) inciting violence. They know the words that mask the threats and dog whistles and use them to mask their words. However, what they are doing and the results have become so blatantly obvious that law enforcement cannot continue to ignore it if enough people report and give them a paper trail with which to take action.
 
When possible, draw them into a conversation where they elevate those threats. They usually will if you question and stop just short of their level because they believe staying on top makes them the winner. And, from my experience, have little self control and want to impress their friends with their violence. Record or screenshot the evidence when you can. 
 
As with stalking and other crimes, things that appear harmless when isolated look much worse when there are multiple cases. I remember clearly the day that I walked into the police department, spread all of my evidence across a conference table, and heard the rewarding words, "You finally have enough for a stalking charge." 
 
The wheels of Justice do turn slowly so we have to do the work to speed up the process and stop the violence. 


Saturday, September 03, 2022

President Biden delivered remarks in Philadelphia on Thursday [Sept 1, 2022]

I enjoy hearing political speeches, unless they are delivered by a Bush or Trump, in which case I can't bear to listen. But, I get more out of the transcripts. Somewhere in my hoards of old printouts or collection of old computers, I probably still have worn transcripts of every speech Al Gore made - because, like with Pat Conroy's writing, there's too much to grasp from each sentence the first time through. 

I am posting the transcript of President Biden's Philadelphia speech on September 1, 2022 with highlights to show how I hear and read important speeches. This might be the most important one I
remember in my lifetime although I have listened to speeches from President Kennedy until the present. 

There is no legend to identify the colors, fonts, lines . . .  maybe you'll figure it out. 

Contrary to what some have said, there are great verbs in here.

President Biden delivered remarks in Philadelphia on Thursday [Sept 1, 2022] about what he described as ongoing threats to democracy in the United States. The following is a transcript of his remarks, as recorded by The New York Times.

My fellow Americans, please, if you have a seat, take it.

I speak to you tonight from sacred ground in America: Independence Hall in Philadelphia, Pa.

This is where America made its declaration of independence to the world more than two centuries ago, with an idea unique among nations: that in America, we’re all created equal.

This is where the United States Constitution was written and debated. This is where we set in motion the most extraordinary experiment of self-government the world has ever known.

With three simple words: we, the people; we, the people. These two documents and their ideas they embody — equality and democracy — are the rock upon which this nation is built.

They are how we became the greatest nation on earth. They are why, for more than two centuries, America has been a beacon to the world.

But as I stand here tonight, equality and democracy are under assault. We do ourselves no favor to pretend otherwise.

So, tonight, I’ve come to this place where it all began to speak as plainly as I can to the nation about the threats we face, about the power we have in our own hands to meet these threats and about the incredible future that lies in front of us, if only we choose it.

We must never forget, we, the people, are the true heirs of the American experiment that began more than two centuries ago.

We, the people, have burning inside of each of us the flame of liberty that was lit here at Independence Hall. A flame that lit our way through abolition, the Civil War, suffrage, the Great Depression, world wars, civil rights. That sacred flame still burns. Now on our time as we build an America that is more prosperous, free, and just. That is the work of my presidency, a mission I believe in with my whole soul.

But first, we must be honest with each other and with ourselves.

Too much of what’s happening in our country today is not normal. Donald Trump and the MAGA Republicans represent an extremism that threatens the very foundations of our Republic.

Now, I want to be very clear, very clear up front. Not every Republican, not even the majority of Republicans, are MAGA Republicans. Not every Republican embraces their extreme ideology. I know, because I’ve been able to work with these mainstream Republicans.

But there’s no question that the Republican Party today is dominated, driven and intimidated by Donald Trump and the MAGA Republicans. And that is a threat to this country.

These are hard things, but I’m an American president, not a president of red America or blue America, but of all America. And I believe it’s my duty, my duty to level with you, to tell the truth no matter how difficult, no matter how painful.

And here, in my view, is what is true: MAGA Republicans do not respect the Constitution. They do not believe in the rule of law. They do not recognize the will of the people. They refuse to accept the results of a free election, and they’re working right now as I speak in state after state to give power to decide elections in America to partisans and cronies, empowering election deniers to undermine democracy itself.

MAGA forces are determined to take this country backwards, backwards to an America where there is no right to choose, no right to privacy, no right to contraception, no right to marry who you love. They promote authoritarian leaders, and they fanned the flames of political violence that are a threat to our personal rights, to the pursuit of justice, to the rule of law, to the very soul of this country.

They look at the mob that stormed the United States Capitol on Jan. 6, brutally attacking law enforcement, not as insurrectionists who placed a dagger at the throat of our democracy, but they look at them as patriots. And they see their MAGA failure to stop a peaceful transfer of power after the 2020 election as preparation for the 2022 and 2024 elections.

They tried everything last time to nullify the votes of 81 million people. This time, they’re determined to succeed in thwarting the will of the people. That’s why respected conservatives like Federal Circuit Court Judge Michael Luttig has called Trump and the extreme MAGA Republicans “a clear and present danger” to our democracy.

But while the threat to American democracy is real, I want to say as clearly as we can, we are not powerless in the face of these threats. We are not bystanders in this ongoing attack on democracy. There are far more Americans, far more Americans from every background and belief, who reject the extreme MAGA ideology than those that accept it. And folks, it’s within our power, it’s in our hands, yours and mine, to stop the assault on American democracy.

I believe America is at an inflection point, one of those moments that determine the shape of everything that’s to come after. And now, America must choose to move forward or to move backwards, to build a future or obsess about the past, to be a nation of hope and unity and optimism or a nation of fear, division and of darkness.

MAGA Republicans have made their choice. They embrace anger. They thrive on chaos. They live, not in the light of truth but in the shadow of lies. But together, together, we can choose a different path. We can choose a better path forward to the future, a future of possibility, a future to build a dream and hope, and we’re on that path moving ahead.

I know this nation. I know you, the American people. I know your courage, I know your hearts, and I know our history. This is a nation that honors our Constitution. We do not reject it. This is a nation that believes in the rule of law. We do not repudiate it. This is a nation that respects free and fair elections. We honor the will of the people. We do not deny it. And this is a nation that rejects violence as a political tool. We do not encourage violence. We are still an America that believes in honesty and decency and respect for others. Patriotism, liberty, justice for all, hope, possibilities — we are still at our core a democracy.

And yet, history tells us that blind loyalty to a single leader and a willingness to engage in political violence is fatal to democracy.

For a long time, we’ve told ourselves that American democracy is guaranteed, but it’s not. We have to defend it, protect it, stand up for it, each and every one of us. That’s why tonight, I’m asking our nation to come together, unite behind the single purpose of defending our democracy regardless of your ideology.

We’re all called by duty and conscience to confront extremists who put their own pursuit of power above all else. Democrats, independents, mainstream Republicans, we must be stronger, more determined and more committed to saving American democracy. And MAGA Republicans are destroying American democracy.

We, the people, will not let anyone or anything tear us apart. Today, there are dangers around us we cannot allow to prevail. We hear — you’ve heard it, more and more talk about violence as an acceptable political tool in this country. It’s not. It can never be an acceptable tool. So, I want to say this plain and simple: There is no place for political violence in America, period, none, ever.

You saw law enforcement brutally attacked on January the 6th. We’ve seen election officials, poll workers, many of them volunteers of both parties, subject to intimidation and death threats. And, can you believe it, F.B.I. agents just doing their job as directed, facing threats to their own lives from their own fellow citizens.

On top of that, there are public figures today, yesterday and the day before predicting and all but calling for mass violence and rioting in the streets. This is inflammatory. It’s dangerous. It’s against the rule of law. And we, the people, must say this is not who we are.

Ladies and gentlemen, we can’t be pro-insurrectionist and pro-American. They’re incompatible. We can’t allow violence to be normalized in this country. It’s wrong. We each have to reject political violence with all the moral clarity and conviction this nation can muster now.

We can’t let the integrity of our elections be undermined, for that is a path to chaos. Look, I know politics can be fierce and mean and nasty in America. I get it. I believe in the give and take of politics, in disagreement and debate and dissent. We’re a big complicated country, but democracy endures only if we, the people, respect the guardrails of the Republic. Only if, we the people accept the results of free and fair elections. Only if, we the people see politics, not as total war, but mediation of our differences. Democracy cannot survive on one side believes there are only two outcomes to an election: Either they win or they were cheated. And that’s where the MAGA Republicans are today.

They don’t understand what every patriotic American knows. You can’t love your country only when you win. It’s fundamental.

American democracy only works only if we choose to respect the rule of law and the institutions that were set up in this chamber behind me. Only if we respect our legitimate political differences.

I will not stand by and watch — I will not — the will of the American people be overturned by wild conspiracy theories and baseless evidence-free claims of fraud. I will not stand by and watch elections in this country stolen by people who simply refuse to accept that they lost. I will not stand by and watch the most fundamental freedom in this country, the freedom to vote and have your vote counted, and be taken from you and the American people.

Look, as your president, I will defend our democracy with every fiber of my being, and I’m asking every American to join me.

Throughout our history, America has often made the greatest progress coming out of some of our darkest moments like you’re hearing in that bullhorn. I believe we can and must do that again, and we are.

MAGA Republicans look at America and see carnage and darkness and despair. They spread fear and lies. Lies told for profit and power.

But I see a different America — an America with an unlimited future, an America that’s about to take off. I hope you see it as well. Just look around. I believe we could lift America from the depths of Covid, so we passed the largest economic recovery package since Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and today America’s economy is faster, stronger than any other advanced nation in the world. We have more to go. I believe we can build a better America, so we passed the biggest infrastructure investment since President Dwight D. Eisenhower, and we’ve now embarked on a decade of rebuilding the nation’s roads, bridges, highways, ports, water systems, high-speed internet, railroads.

I believe we can make America safer, so we passed the most significant gun safety law since President Clinton.

I believe we could go from being the highest cost of prescriptions to the world to making prescription drugs and health care more affordable, so we passed the most significant health care reform since President Obama signed the Affordable Care Act.

And I believed we could create a clean energy future and save the planet, so we passed the most important climate initiative ever, ever, ever.

The cynics and the critics tell us nothing can get done, but they’re wrong.

There is not a single thing America cannot do, not a single thing beyond our capacity if we do it together. It’s never easy. But we’re proving that America, no matter how long the road, progress does come.

Look, I know the last year, few years have been tough, but today Covid no longer controls our lives. More Americans are working than ever. Businesses are growing, our schools are open, millions of Americans have been lifted out of poverty. Millions of veterans once exposed to toxic burn pits will now get what they deserve for their families in compensation. American manufacturing has come alive across the heartland, and the future will be made in America, no matter what the white supremacists and the extremists say.

I made a bet on you, the American people, and that bet is paying off, proving that from darkness, the darkness of Charlottesville, of Covid, of gun violence, of insurrection, we can see the light. Light is now visible. Light that will guide us forward. Not only in words but in actions. Actions for you, for your children, for your grandchildren, for America.

Even in this moment with all the challenges we face, I give you my word as a Biden, I’ve never been more optimistic about America’s future. Not because of me, but because of who you are.

We’re going to end cancer as we know it, mark my words. We’re going to create millions of new jobs and a clean energy economy. We’re going to think big. We’re going to make the 21st century another American century because the world needs us to. That’s where we need to focus our energy. Not in the past, not on divisive culture wars, not on the politics of grievance, but on a future we can build together.

The MAGA Republicans believe that for them to succeed, everyone else has to fail. They believe America, not like what I believe about America. I believe America is big enough for all of us to succeed, and that is the nation we’re building, a nation where no one is left behind.

I ran for president because I believed we were in a battle of the soul of this nation. I still believe that to be true. I believe the soul is the breadth, the life and the essence of who we are. The soul is what makes us, us.

The soul of America is defined by the sacred proposition that all are created equal in the image of God, that all are entitled to be treated with decency, dignity and respect, that all deserve justice and a shot at lives of prosperity and consequence. And that democracy, democracy must be defended, for democracy makes all these things possible.

Folks, and it’s up to us. Democracy begins and will be preserved, and we the people’s habits of the heart — in our character, optimism that is tested, yet endures, courage that digs deep when we need it. Empathy that fuels democracy. The willingness to see each other not as enemies but as fellow Americans.

Look, our democracy isn’t perfect. It always has been. Notwithstanding those folks you hear on the other side there. They’re entitled to be outrageous. This is a democracy. But history and common sense — good manners is nothing they have ever suffered from — but history and common sense tell us that opportunity, liberty and justice for all are most likely to come to pass in a democracy. We have never fully realized the aspirations of our founding, but every generation has opened those doors a little bit wider to include more people who have been excluded before.

My fellow Americans, America is an idea; the most powerful idea in the history of the world, and it beats in the hearts of the people of this country. It beats in all our hearts. It unites America. It is the American creed.

The idea that America guarantees that everyone be treated with dignity. It gives hate no safe harbor. It installs in everyone the belief that no matter where you start in life, there’s nothing you can’t achieve. That’s who we are. That’s what we stand for. That’s what we believe.

And that’s precisely what we’re doing — opening doors, creating possibilities, focusing on the future — and we’re only just beginning.

Our task is to make our nation free and fair, just and strong, noble and whole, and this work is the work of democracy, the work of this generation. It is the work of our time for all time. We can’t afford to leave anyone on the sidelines. We need everyone to do their part, so speak up, speak out, get engaged, vote, vote, vote!

And if we do our duty, if we do our duty, in 2022 and beyond, then ages still to come will say we, all of us here, we kept the faith. We preserved democracy. We heeded our words. We heeded not our worst instincts but our better angels. We proved that for all its imperfections, America is still the beacon to the world, an ideal to be realized, a promise to be kept. There’s nothing more important. Nothing more sacred. Nothing more American. That’s our soul. That’s who we truly are. And that’s who we must always be.

I have no doubt, none, that this is who we will be and that we’ll come together as a nation that will secure our democracy. That for the next 200 years we’ll have what we had the past 200 years, the greatest nation on the face of the earth. We just need to remember who we are. We are the United States of America, the United States of America. And may God protect our nation, and may God protect all those who stand watch over our democracy.

God bless you all. Democracy. Thank you.

 

 

Tuesday, August 09, 2022

Hardest Thing I Have Done


   From my end of the hall, I could see that her bedroom door was closed. If I had been fully awake, something that seldom happened before I had been through the morning routine and arrived safely at work, I probably would have dreaded the trouble this unpredictable wild child was creating in that room. But I wasn’t fully awake. Nor did I have any idea how deep dread could go.

    A suicide note was taped to the outside of her closed bedroom door.

   A suicide note! 

   A suicide note, written by my six-year-old baby, taped to the outside of the closed door that was usually open when I went to wake her for school.

    I was consumed by dread and too paralyzed to even think that every second counted.

    After a time – seconds? A minute? Days? There is no sense of time when you’re paralyzed and know you’d rather die yourself than do what needs to be done. I could not touch that doorknob. COULD NOT do it.

    Nor could I tell anyone else that, when seconds might have mattered most, I allowed paralysis to make me the worst mother ever. So, I opened that door. That simple action, turning a doorknob, I realize thirty years later, was the hardest thing I have ever done – a close second to standing in the shower, holding a phone, while the police officer who had called to ask if I was the mother of (this same) child found at the scene of an accident radioed the officers at the scene for more information.

    She was alive and physically fine (both times). Her plan had been to close the door, go to sleep, and never wake up. To her, that was how people died. And she wanted to die because people had told her that since his death, her father was in heaven watching over her – over all of us. Since she could no longer see him and going to heaven where he was meant she would be able to see him and everyone else she could ‘watch over’ with him, it seemed like a good deal to her.

    The good news was that she didn’t seem terribly disappointed to still be alive.

    Sometimes, every best thing possible lines up. Within an hour, I talked to physicians I knew and trusted, got a recommendation for ‘the best’ child psychiatrist around and permission to use their names since it probably wouldn’t be easy to get an appointment right away with him, called his office and explained my concern and need for an appointment as soon as possible. They called back almost immediately to say that he had a cancellation that morning and he would see her.

    And he was perfect. He allowed her (without me, of course) to tell him what she had done and why she had done it. Later, when he saw the two of us together, he gave me what I interpreted as a ‘please bear with me’ stare as he said they had had a great talk and agreed that they both wanted to discuss everything with me. Turned out, that stare was unnecessary because his opinion and mine were exactly the same – there is absolutely no proof that there is a heaven from which people get to watch over their survivors (or anyone else). He advised my daughter to play it safe – live a long, happy life with me and everyone else who was still alive and, then, if there really is a heaven, she can see her dad again when she gets there.

   She agreed with him that this was what she needed to do. She also stopped listening to people who tried to tell her things that they didn’t know to be true.