writing exercise 1 - Wedding

I had no trouble deciding which husband I would use for this exercise, but choosing a wedding and a picture was more difficult. I liked the second wedding dress better than the third, and the third reception better than the second; although, when Hal announced he was Cher Bono at the second, and came down the stairs singing her song, it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Since I am writing about our first wedding, and there are no pictures, I’m in a real mess as far as this exercise is concerned.


I don’t really have pictures of the second wedding either, because it never actually happened. I changed my mind somewhere between sealing the envelope on the last invitation and sticking them in the mail. Since it was too late to cancel the reception, we went ahead with that part. There are pictures, somewhere. They wouldn’t fit what I want to write even if I found them.



The third wedding was about pleasing others. We married in a church, said what other people wanted us to say, in a language that wasn't his. I have pictures. Somewhere.


Atypical is a word most people would probably rather not hear anyone use to describe them, or their ideal wedding. I like it better than weird and I don’t think I have earned eccentric, so I embrace it. My first wedding in this third-time-didn’t-make-charm union, atypical as it could be, is my favorite wedding and possibly my most soothing memory.


We spent a great deal of time alone when we were best friends. By the time we fell in love, we worked different shifts and each had three roommates. Being in the same place at the same time excited us and finding two empty seats close enough together that we could hear each other speak felt like winning the lottery. The first wedding might have happened simply because we didn’t know what else to do when we ended up with an entire apartment to ourselves one night.


He put on music - his music - in a language that I appreciated but didn’t fully understand. Instead of dancing, as we would have if the others were there, we took advantage of having the whole couch to ourselves and stretched out together. He held me and translated the songs as they played, and I enjoyed learning that I had not romanticized the music more than I should have; the messages were as romantic as the language.


When the music ended and he continued to speak lyrics, I realized he had prepared me to absorb words of love in his language. They were more romantic in his voice, with no music. I felt more in love, more connected, and more a part of him and his world than I had imagined possible, even though I was positive I adored him before that night.


He pledged his life and love to me, said he never wanted to leave that spot or that moment. Afraid to trust my understanding, I repeated the words in English. We decided that was enough; the deal was sealed forever.


One wedding, two receptions, and two divorces later, I still honor that deal. I will adore him forever, even if I never see him again. I like the atypical definition of marriage: a close union. And I rememer it like it was yesterday, without a picture.




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Comments: 40

Sandy..very much like an unbirthday....

One thing...six roomates respectively between the two? Perfect for a wedding...


Travis B. commented Jan 25, 2007

I love the opening phrase in the opening line, best. What a hook!


E B commented Jan 25, 2007

Now that you mention it, this is a lot like an unbirthday.

When I saw the number of members in the group, I thought I would try to write something different, since sixty wedding stories could easily end up sounding alike.

I see a misspelled word already but have edited twice and don't want to annoy you with alerts.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 25, 2007 |delete

eh thanks for submitting to the group. I hope more will join in and benefit from it. Funny sometimes you can read stuff and not catch the spelling stuff..I didn't see it.


Travis B. commented Jan 25, 2007

Thanks, EB. I thought it might be unique in the wedding story collection.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 25, 2007 |delete

This sucks.

I'm sorry, but it does. Why does it suck? Because now I am dying of curiosity. I want to know all about this husband and what happened. Why you are still not married... if it is merely a story, it is done from the heart. It feels real.

So. since I will likely not ever get my answers, you have left me wanting more forever and ever amen. ARGH


Lori Leidig commented Jan 26, 2007

nice story, but out of the pics on weddings. think I've seen two in my life and participated in none so is a completely alien world for me and this article rather relates my confused insights on the whole biz. I really can't comprehend the amount of fuss and frills that goes into such affairs and usually they end up in tatters and rags, so the empty frame is mostly what I comprehend.


nicely written and very persuasive as factual.


Mary C Legg commented Jan 26, 2007

I enjoyed this article. My favorite part was when you changed your mind.


Rose S. commented Jan 26, 2007

Very nice! I too am left wondering about the story behind it all. :)


Lisa D. commented Jan 26, 2007

I loved everything about this. I know it probably seems like I'm just saying that because I adore you, but I really do love this.

The first time I wrote this comment I started regurgitating all the memories this stirred in me, but I think I want to leave it at: I love this.


Parke F. commented Jan 26, 2007

What group? What group? I want to post the story of my weddings. Yours was just wonderful, showing your creativity to advantage. Very interesting juxtaposition.


Clare Stella commented Jan 26, 2007

I like this different twist on a wedding story, Sandy. Very original, and especially since it ended with atypical adoration. I enjoyed this.

(comment edited for redundancy in my statement. heh)


Cheri D. commented Jan 26, 2007

I feel exactly like Lori - nosey! What happened? Where is he? What language was he speaking? This was great, truly T E N story!


Vicky "I Hate Snow" D. commented Jan 26, 2007

I read yours yesterday, Travis and it was also a 10. I'm going to try to hack one out this weekend, but wow I hate to put mine up after this. You two set the bar very high.


Vicky "I Hate Snow" D. commented Jan 26, 2007

WHAAA... Lori said it sucks! I'll survive, but only because Parke adores me.

This story is true. I wanted to write something different for this exercise, and didn't even have to make it up.

Lori and Lisa, I'm an open book about my life but have been careful about writing things that reveal too much about the people in my life. (In case you missed my non-involvement in the famous people group, I am overly-protective and can't publish many great stories to that group because I won't use their names.) I could (have) write tomes about this man, because I do respect him, and he has influenced my life in so many ways, and I have many fun stories about him over the years. But anyone who knows me or him would recognize him, and that felt like an intrusion on his privacy. Recently, I spoke with him this and the restraint I feel when writing personal essays. He encouraged me to write freely, so I might write more and answer your questions.

Rose, my mother wasn't very happy about the canceling part. But we turned that too-late-to-cancel reception into her 40th birthday party and smoothed it over a little.

Cheri, the adoration isn't really so atypical. Many people feel the same way about him.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 26, 2007 |delete

Vicky - see note to Lori and Lisa. Thank you. And write yours!

I was happy to see Travis start this group and excited when nearly a hundred people joined on the first day. I hope everyone will participate and make this a fun learning experience.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 26, 2007 |delete

Clare - I miss your icon. And I missed your comment. I trust you have found the group by now -- NOW WRITE (link above)


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 26, 2007 |delete

Sandy - oh this is a great beginning. So real yet could be fiction - you had me (and obviously others) guessing and wanting more. I love the voice used here and think this could be a start of a really great thing - keep going with it!


Monica Kennedy commented Jan 26, 2007

Only you, Miss Knauer. Only you. The best part about those 2 little statements that I wrote is that I don't even have to elaborate.

=)


Robiyah, One-Third of the Unholy Trinity, W commented Jan 26, 2007

Only had ONE church-type wedding out of 3.

It figures that wife #2 was the one who liked to run around......for over 7 years.

Pretty crafty, huh?

Carol and I had NO INTENTION of EVER etting married to ANYONE ever again....that idea lasted about a year.....we love each other!

...but SHE'S better at it than me!

Garet witrnig Snday, dno't wrory aubot slepipng - ndbooy ntocies ti....


Eric Spindler commented Jan 26, 2007

No pictures needed. There you were cuddled on the couch, nose to nose, eyebrow to eyebrow. The soft kisses tasted sweet and the caresses were warm; skin on skin. The record spun slowly and his words filled your ears with joy.

Thanks for the small window to peak through and sharing the joy.


Terry "with a fish on his head" (no bass) S. commented Jan 26, 2007

Thanks, Terry. Now, where's yours? I felt cheated when I went and your article wasn't about the wedding. I'm waiting . . .

Thanks, Monica, Robiyah, and Erik. And TRAVIS . . . I am not ignoring your catch about the confusion over the roommates. I see other things in here that I don't like (repeated words - I hate that and still keep doing it) so will try to clean it all up before I make changes.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 26, 2007 |delete

I can feel ya about the repeated words...I don't even understand how it happens or why one does not see that during the writing process.


Travis B. commented Jan 26, 2007

Christ. Now I'll go to bed and dream about hot foreign famous dudes.


Lori Leidig commented Jan 26, 2007

Travis, they jump off the page at me when I see them in someone else's work (probably because I know this is one of my weaknesses and have tuned in to them) but still don't see them in my work. I would appreciate it if you (and everyone else) would point mine out when you see them.

Lori, this guy isn't famous. I have stories about other people who are, but didn't want to use their names in the articles for the "I Met Someone Famous" group. Sorry if I wrote that to read as though he was the subject of the famous people stories. But - he is a hot foreign dude and you can dream him famous if you want.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 26, 2007 |delete

Sandy, you have such a way of writing that pulls one into the story...as any good story should. What makes it so much better is that it is just no a story. It is part of your history. Me alegra que todavia son amigos del alma.


Sonia M. commented Jan 26, 2007

Sandy My exercise one is now posted to Now Write

I misposted that other article to the group


Terry "with a fish on his head" (no bass) S. commented Jan 26, 2007

Sonia, ¿soulmates verdaderos eh?


Terry "with a fish on his head" (no bass) S. commented Jan 26, 2007

Ah, my kind of weddings!


Madame Donna C. commented Jan 26, 2007

Terry, definitivamente, si!


Sonia M. commented Jan 26, 2007

Although I can not speak any other language, I love to hear certain launguages spoke. You could be saying something smells like dog poo and it will sound romantic. So I am sure that the song and the words were captivating. I, like the others, am left hanging wanting to know more, more, and more.

Just a thought, but what would it sound like if you took your favorite parts of each wedding and blended them into one story? Have you ever tried that before? That would make a great next story. Of course you would have to be sure and not use names because that would get confusing.


Julie "basking in the peace of my home" L. commented Jan 26, 2007

That should say languages spoken.


Julie "basking in the peace of my home" L. commented Jan 26, 2007

Sonia, no tengo dinero. Tengo hambre y sueno. Donde esta el bano? Dame beso. Soy frio. Te amo. Will any of those fit? (Seriously, it makes me happy also, if I understand what you said.)

Julie, funny you should say that about the dog poo. One reason I had a hard time learning as little of his language as I did was that he and his friends thought it was funny to teach us the wrong words. So, I might have thought I was asking someone to pass the bread but was really asking if they had ever seen monkeys mate or something.

I like your idea about combining stories. I went back and read the instructions for this lesson again and see that I might have failed this exercise, depending on how strictly he meant fiction. I was ready to move on to exercise 2, but think I might have to do this one again since I sorta accidentally cheated. (This story is about one man - but I did have another husband after all of this.)


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 26, 2007 |delete

Sandy that had me giggling. I have seen people do that. And it is funny to watch the reaction when you know what is happening. Of course I have been on the losing end of that also by being taught words I should not be saying to people.

I have to go bach and do mine again also as I didn't follow the instructions either.


Julie "basking in the peace of my home" L. commented Jan 26, 2007

Julie, maybe we can write about each other's pictures now. (I get the better end of that deal)


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 27, 2007 |delete

Hmmmm let me think about it.....No. I think I would really be getting the shaft on that trade. Although It would be a very short story.

Here is the picture frame I bought for our first wedding picture. Then the jerk took off with my best friend and all I got was this picture frame with no picture in it. Ok, so maybe I could have framed the wedding invitation I got from them but it was more fun burning it.

Thats about the best I could think of with a picture of a picture frame. Or I could go the more depressing route of "He was killed on the way to the church" but that is just way to sad to even contemplate. That makes me want to cry just thinking something like that.


Julie "basking in the peace of my home" L. commented Jan 27, 2007

Wunnerful, wunnerful.


Nancy Spivey commented Jan 28, 2007

Very entertaining story.


Marco MD commented Jan 29, 2007

Cute, Julie.

Thanks, Nancy and Marco.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 29, 2007 |delete

I saw this right after you published it, but was on my way to bed. I like this and have always enjoyed your perspective and writing style, Sandy. My paucity of comment reflects my general state of burnout, not a lack of respect for your work.


Kathryn Esplin-Oleski commented Jan 29, 2007

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