Friday, March 02, 2007

REBMA ALERT: Please Do Not Try To Find the Following

Unlike its popular and successful counterpart, the REBMA alert will not seek assistance or publish pictures. REBMA represents lost causes and admits any effort to recover the missing would be futile.

If you think you see any of the following, please turn away and have your eyes examined as soon as possible. It is doubtful any of them truly existed in the first place.

1) The reason anyone gives credence to Anna Nicole/Vickie’s drugged out suggestion that her mother, Virgie Arthur, is unfit to see Dannielynne when Anna Nicole left Daniel with Virgie the first seven years of his life and claimed he turned into a perfect kid.

2) The shred of honesty a couple of people still believed possible for the Bushes before this week when George said things are going well in Iraq and Laura expressed disappointment that some people are discouraged by the one bombing a day.
(Thanks to Jon Stewart for his “a bombing a day keeps the doctor away” comment.)


3) Hope for the poor children of the Indiana Elementary School after their principal bragged that GWB is coming to visit because they have improved “every year since the implementation of NCLB”, and then said the students are asking every man in a suit if he is the (p)resident.

4) Sanity for Judge Larry Seidlin who:

*started out pretending he knew what a weasel Howard Stern (the unemployed, gold-digger, not the successful talk show host) was
*and then later broke down and forgot that
-Stern might have contributed to the death of the woman whose body he was fighting for,
-definitely helped make the decision to bury her son in the Bahamas while Anna Nicole’s mental state was questionable at best,
-and is holding a child that doesn’t belong to him hostage in order to get the money he thinks he deserves.
*completely let the fact that Anna Nicole had been in a similar situation and chose to have her husband’s body cremated and divided – which should have been some clue about what she would consider fair in this situation.

5) Better logic for the goofball who said the economy is cooking the evening before the biggest one-day drop in the market in years.

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