Honestly, I Do Want to Help Kentucky State Police Officers

Although the caller pitched for the Kentucky State Police this year, I’m fairly certain he must work for the same organization that usually irritates me in the name of the FOP. I let him rattle off every word of his script uninterrupted, not because I’m polite, but because he didn’t pause once to allow me a turn to speak. I have to admit, though, that I was glad to hear from a real person instead of a recording (see Aaron L. Wilson and South East Christian Church), and his spiel did have some entertainment value.



Without asking first if I am one of the lucky 90% who is somewhat employed, or if in addition to having food in the fridge, clothes on my back, and all the insurance I need in case of emergencies, I also have an extra stash available for people who approach me with their hands out, the caller assumed I would give. The only question he considered was how much I would give.



He told me how the police department works hard to protect me. I was willing to give him that one; I appreciate the police officers who protect me. I will even agree that they might be underpaid and underappreciated, and that it is a shame that they have to be lumped in with everyone else by the huge faction of our society who believes anyone who has a job should be grateful for that job, no matter how little they are paid or how poorly they are treated. I was willing to acknowledge and appreciate the Kentucky State Police, thank, and even to applaud them.



He started losing me when he mentioned their families and how I should also want to help them. Where has this man been? I spend my life fighting for all families. I’ve never excluded the families of Kentucky State Police troopers in my desire for all people to have what they need.



The teeth clamped down on my tongue, however, when he read the part about how they depend on generous donations from nice people like me. What fool put me on this caller’s Libertarian list when everyone knows I am a bleeding heart Liberal? I have never said anything, anywhere, any time that could possibly lead anyone to believe I support volunteer police departments, volunteer fire departments, or any other type of volunteer necessary service. I know how ornery my fellow citizens are. I know people who would begrudge volunteering to help anyone they thought held different values, or different beliefs, or different skin colors, or whose legality they would question because they look different. I know people who would sign up to volunteer and then remember that their girlfriend might get jealous if they had to help another female. I could probably name a few who would get drunk and forget they volunteered.



Contrary to whatever misconceptions someone fed this poor little phone solicitor, I’m all for tax-supported, government regulated services. I’m actually in favor or raising taxes so we can pay government employees what they deserve, and provide benefits to their families.



So, when this guy told me he had marked me for a twenty-five dollar donation and asked if I would like to give more, I told him to unmark me because I had something much better than cash to offer. I promised him I would vote for Democrats. That way, the Kentucky State Police and their families might have a fighting chance at decent salaries and benefits, and maybe hope for unemployment benefits or welfare programs should they lose their jobs.



Phone Solicitor’s tone was not so friendly when he was confused. He asked again if I didn’t want to help the Kentucky State Police and their families by increasing the twenty-five dollar donation he had assigned me. I explained, more carefully the second time, that I do want to help them and that is why I am giving them something much greater than twenty-five dollars. I am promising them hours of my time and energy via campaign work for Democratic candidates, and more than twenty-five dollars of my money through campaign contributions.



When he asked the third time if I didn’t want to help the Kentucky State Police, I said I would help by suggesting that they help themselves by doing exactly what I’m doing. I hope he didn’t confuse that with the ever-popular bootstrap message because I truly do want tax dollars to help Kentucky State Police officers and their families when they need it.

Aaron L. Wilson, Please Take Your Nose Out of My Uterus and Stick it in a History Book

I saw private caller and almost let the call go to voice mail. Almost. With one daughter out of the country and the other running my errands while her phone lay on my kitchen counter, I reconsidered. Should it be a bill collector I could hang up. A whispered what are you wearing might make me feel young again. And if it was one of the girls I would be glad to hear from her. With nothing to lose, I answered.


An infuriating pause warned me the call was computer generated so the caller had no respect for my time or me. I should have hung up then but I hated to waste a good mad without knowing to whom I owed the displeasure. So, I hung on, things got worse, and there was no one on the other end to answer my questions or receive my comments.


Infuriating, rude caller introduced himself as Aaron El Wmmthmmn (closest I could guess), Christian Conservative. The last part was all that I, Sandy Knauer, non-Christian liberal really needed in order to know that I had no interest but I still couldn’t hang up without knowing the name of my caller. Without a name, how could I positively know for whom I would never vote, who to campaign against, or how to title this article?


He continued in what I thought was a fake accent, repeating El something-that-never-got-any-clearer. I was confused because the accent did not resemble Spanish or Italian. El? On what seemed like at least the tenth time he repeated the name, I finally decided El was a middle initial. Now, I wanted to know who wastes time on a middle initial instead of enunciating his last name.


Since Mr. Christian Conservative promised to stick his nose in my uterus, and to deny my right to escape his religious intrusion, and to trample my choice if I help put him in a state rep seat, I knew exactly where to turn. First, I called the Republican Party of Kentucky and spoke with a kind woman who wished she could help. Unfortunately, even with a first name, middle initial, and district, she could not identify my caller. She apologized and gave me a local number. The Jefferson County Republican Party was less help. Everyone was either on another line or out of the office, but if I would leave a “very detailed” message, someone would return my call. I was not in the mood to leave a “very detailed” message about someone whose name I didn’t know so, after three tries I gave up and did what non-Christian liberals are often criticized for doing. I searched the internet looking for facts.


I found Aaron L. Wilson, State Representative – District 30 on Facebook, where I ‘liked’ him long enough to leave a message letting him know that not once in all the times he repeated his name on his ‘hidden caller’ message was I able to understand his name. While there, I read about his gratitude to the Republican Party for freeing his ancestors, and that his goal is to see Republicans control the General Assembly and restore liberty and justice for all Kentuckians.


Mr. Wilson, if you are reading, please take your nose out of my uterus long enough to study recent history. Sure, a few Republicans along the way might have helped to free your ancestors from slavery, and a couple of Democrats were less than perfect when it came to Civil Rights. More recent history (the part your handlers conveniently avoid when providing your talking points and hoping you will accept their revised history) will tell quite a different story.

I’m sad for you – and for me and everyone else watching – that you don’t see the duplicity in bragging about being freed while in the same campaign you phone women to tell them you want to take away their freedom. I’m no expert, but this does not seem like a wise campaign strategy to me.