This is the message that Wednesday does NOT want you to see!

Wow! Several of you stood up and demanded that today be Thursday. With your help, we managed to turn Wednesday into Thursday. We saw midnight approaching quickly, got that petition out asking you to TELL Wednesday to step aside and allow Thursday in, and you came through.  

We set a hefty goal of six signatures and you helped us reach that goal before midnight (almost - five out of six was close enough). Now, because we managed to get that petition out and you cared enough to sign it, today is Thursday.

However, our work is not done. We must pursue this project relentlessly. We have to let the calendar know we are serious and we will NOT accept any stalling or going backwards. In order to make tomorrow be Friday, we need your donations. 

Can you help by sending grins, heavy praise, and maybe a few guffaws or knee slaps? We would like to have at least three of each before our 2 p.m. deadline so we can generate the next free petition before midnight.

Your opinions matter greatly to us. Please answer the following questions to let us know what you would like to see us work on in the future.

⃝ Would like to see you change days

⃝ Would like to see you change nights

⃝ Notify me by email

⃝ Just send petitions to my gmail addy

⃝ Need 12 point font

⃝ Prefer 10 point font

⃝ Want to hear from you once a day

⃝ Want to hear from you daily

⃝ Hit me up hourly

Thanks for all you do!

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To keep my head from exploding, I had a bit of fun with a Thursday petition. Within ten minutes of Ashley Judd’s Twitter announcement that she has decided not to run against Mitch McConnell for his Senate seat, a petition to draft the person we all knew was second in line appeared on my Facebook feed. That petition was as obviously ridiculous and useless as my Thursday petition—since the Clintons are behind Alison Lundergan Grimes—so it hit a raw nerve in me.

I’ll explain this raw nerve in case there is a person who hasn’t noticed the pattern. A number of groups (that seems to be growing daily) realize there is fame and fortune in providing a means for people to feel as though they have contributed when they really have done nothing, sorta like a prayer group. The ones that moved me from pet peeve to raw nerve status are MoveOn, CREDO, and Progress [sic] Kentucky.

The second news hits the inaccurate airwaves (sometimes before the sloppy reporters have even finished their inaccurate, invalidated stories) these groups pump out knee-jerk petitions with which to spam internet sites and email boxes. Sensationalized, often dishonest subject lines and carelessly worded letters accompany said petitions when they hit the email boxes. They demand that we TELL someone and their party what horrible thing we will not tolerate any longer, planting dishonest negative impressions about the person we are telling not to do what they haven’t done, or to do what they’ve already done.

For example, some right-wing nut job posts on Facebook that the girl his uncle dumped last week told him she heard Obama plans to remove all American flags from the White House. Every knee-jerk, lets-build-a-mailing-list-and-collect-donations group in existence shoots out an immediate petition asking us to TELL President Obama and the Democrats in Congress they must not remove the American flag from the White House. MoveOn follows up with a second email encouraging us to make our own petition (I thought about using that one for my Thursday petition because I’ve seen some almost like it come from SignOn), and then a third email that asks everyone else if they want MoveOn to support the one I made.

Then, when President Obama and the Democrats in Congress have the added burden of shirking this ridiculous rumor, and they have not removed the flags from the White House because they never had any intention of doing that in the first place, these same groups shoot out another email reminding us that they were first to warn us, they did the hard work of pounding out a petition and a couple of memes (or maybe posting someone else’s article or video on their site so they can collect hits and credit), and they deserve praise and brand recognition for protecting the American flags in the White House. Now, aren’t they wonderful and can we please send a donation to help them do this again tomorrow?

Not only is this annoying, it is harmful. Most of these Internet petitions are meaningless. I could have reached my goal of six on my own if I had wanted. And, like the people who say a prayer as they pass the hungry guy on the corner thinking prayer action is as good as forking over a smile, a dollar, or a vote for a candidate who might help them, meaningless petitions signers get to think their work is done. This scam provides one set of lazy people an avenue to ask for money and name recognition, and another set an easy out so they don’t have to think about doing the hard work.

I will be happy if my Thursday petition encourages thought and discussion about the groups that are more interested in name recognition and donations than they are about real issues and honesty.