Houses Are Dressing For Success Now?

I spent Saturday morning watching Sell This House and Flip This House on the Arts & Entertainment channel. Worse than the disappointment of discovering this is someone's idea of art or entertainment was the realization that marble and granite countertops are only a small part of the deceptive practice of dressing houses for success, or for the owners they hope to have. At least in cases where actual marble or granite is used instead of Formica colored to look like stone, the updates are real and not illusion.

 

Since these programs were presented in the tone of public service announcements, and rude attitudes were valued higher than personal tastes, feelings, and safety, now I understand better how out of touch I am with corporate reach into real estate. After viewing what are apparently acceptable levels of unreasonable expectation, demands for instant gratification, personal insults, ignorance, lack of imagination, poor character, theft by deception, and profit above all else, I was heartsick.

On Sell This House, a group of workers goes into houses that are on the market but have not sold, to "stage" makeovers. There must be a charge for their service--even though sellers and their friends are expected to help with labor--either passed on to buyers or covered by advertisers who promote ignorance, instant gratification, and poor character. Either way, it costs buyers and society.

First, the team "stages" an open house before making changes. Potential buyers wander through the house, wearing expressions of disgust and confusion while they criticize everything from structure to taste. None of them is smart enough to remember that they will bring their own furniture, decorations, dishes, and photographs if they buy this house. Someone must have told them these sellers have received permission to buy the last paint and hardware on earth, and the sellers plan to leave everything they own in the house. All they see when walking through these houses are themselves, stuck, forever living the horrendously pathetic lives of the sellers.

Of course, the staging team plays recordings of these insults for the sellers. Regardless of their attachments to the things they own or their ability to afford changes, the team must share the insults to justify cleansing their home of everything personal, intellectual, useful, and entertaining. (They threw one item out a second story window and shattered it.) Books, electronics, kitchen appliances, photographs, and keepsakes must be moved to storage where they belong. According to Oprah and current designers, houses must look like no one lives there and everything that existed before 2009 must be destroyed and replaced with a staged gadget. The staged replacements are worth little (prices are shown) but will give the illusion that, should the viewer decide to buy, they will have modern stuff in this house.

No one on either side seems to realize this is wasted crap since, instead of staying in the house that is now painted to match the crap, the cheap bed clothes, the curtains that are stapled to the wall, and the couch cushions carelessly made from more bargain basement sheets will go with the sellers, who will have to hope the crap survives the move and matches their new place, which will not suit their taste according to the looks of sorrow on some of their faces.

Finally, the team stages a second walk through in which the rude people are invited back to love the makeovers without showing signs of embarrassment for not having considered what the place could have looked like if they had painted walls, thumb-tacked old clothes over windows, and covered their own couches with a thousand gaudy pillows. As expected, one of the potential buyers wants this house at the new price because it's beautiful and uncluttered now. The staging team boasts that they have turned two days of labor and insults, and a couple hundred dollars, into thousands of dollars in profit. Never mind that the total square footage remains the same as before and they are paying thousands for the couple hundred dollars worth of crap that will mostly go with the sellers or in the trash. All dressed for success, this house looks bigger and like it belongs on Oprah so they feel bigger, or smarter, or more in the mood to buy.

Flip This House was a more appealing idea on the surface. If flipped by conscientious investors who care as much about society and others as they do about profit, it might salvage and restore failing neighborhoods. Sadly, this program featured some for whom it was all about profit. One guy had to see a counselor when it turned out he could not just paint over rat and roach feces but had to replace walls, cutting into what was still a more than $100,000 profit. Fortunately, I kept watching until they featured the guy who flipped a house for less than $100,000 profit, cared about safety, donated or recycled what he removed from the house, and installed energy saving appliances.

How is this going to work for the people whose salaries remain stagnant (that would be most Americans) while the cost of housing (this ultimately affects rental rates, as well) rises ten times faster? Illusions and ignorance are killing what's left of the American Dream.