This year, some of the most reverent supporters of the 'Keep Christ in Christmas' and 'Bah Humbug on the ACLU For Questioning Our Need to Display Religiosity' groups broke tradition and extended one of their more devout rituals an extra day. There is little doubt that the PlayStation 3 and the Nintendo Wii are both icons of the values these people so desperately need to instill in their children, making the two-day camp outs on store parking lots to acquire the first ones available an act of mercy, not greed. It is possible some of these parents will be advanced to sainthood status, or at least given a church bulletin column for their delivering-souls-from-purgatory and saving-pagan-babies level contributions.
Witnessing this display of perfect parenting encouraged a rebirth of sorts in me. I repented for the times I encouraged my children to be individuals and not want something just because everyone else did. I regret telling them it is not important to always be first, and recognize the many opportunities I missed to prove my love for them by pushing my way to the front and trampling other people to make sure they had the appropriate toy with which to keep Christ in Christmas. I hope to burn in hell for the times I wrote x-mas.
Next year, I plan to be there three days early, so I can rectify the most grievous wrongs I saw this year. I will fight those storeowners who obviously refused to allow the campers to hang the Ten Commandments on their tents. I will stand strong, fight the ACLU, FBI, CIA, ASCAP, or anyone who tries to silence the 'Keep Christ in Christmas' prayer groups that were so clearly missing at these campouts.
I appeal to all of you. We have little time before Black Friday, so immediate help is needed. Please, donate to my ten commandments poster campaign. The least we can do is cash in our points for poster boards and markers, and provide each shopper with a 'Keep Christ in Christmas' poster to carry through the malls on Friday.
Witnessing this display of perfect parenting encouraged a rebirth of sorts in me. I repented for the times I encouraged my children to be individuals and not want something just because everyone else did. I regret telling them it is not important to always be first, and recognize the many opportunities I missed to prove my love for them by pushing my way to the front and trampling other people to make sure they had the appropriate toy with which to keep Christ in Christmas. I hope to burn in hell for the times I wrote x-mas.
Next year, I plan to be there three days early, so I can rectify the most grievous wrongs I saw this year. I will fight those storeowners who obviously refused to allow the campers to hang the Ten Commandments on their tents. I will stand strong, fight the ACLU, FBI, CIA, ASCAP, or anyone who tries to silence the 'Keep Christ in Christmas' prayer groups that were so clearly missing at these campouts.
I appeal to all of you. We have little time before Black Friday, so immediate help is needed. Please, donate to my ten commandments poster campaign. The least we can do is cash in our points for poster boards and markers, and provide each shopper with a 'Keep Christ in Christmas' poster to carry through the malls on Friday.
1 comment:
Sorry, I couldn't have helped your campaign. I only set foot outside yesterday to check the mail. My kids never changed out of their PJs.
That's the kind of horrible mom I am.
My poor uneducated children completely missed the point and grinned and hugged me all day long.
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