You can stand in front of your mirror and call that green
reflection by my name for the rest of your life. You will still be you, I will
still be me, and I have lost nothing.
At first, I laughed at the jealousy accusations. Later, the
frequency of them annoyed me. Now that I have taken the time to consider why
you make a claim like this, my pity is stronger than my laughter or anger. (But
that doesn’t mean I am going to accept your ugliness.)
Jealousy is not foreign to me. I used my lifetime supply
between 1969 and 1972. Three years of torturing myself with a useless, negative
emotion was enough, especially when I realized that it was more likely to cause
me to lose than protect what I wanted. With wisdom came freedom, something I will
not give up for any person, thing, or talent. If you knew me at all, you would
not make a fool of yourself by bringing this into question. You would also know
that, even in my teens, I was wise enough to restrict my jealousy only to
something I wanted. So far, the people you falsely state that I am jealous of
have only demonstrated characteristics and abilities that I would work to rid
myself of if I had them.
Envy is a different story. If you want to spread information
about me, you are welcome to tell the world that I am envious. I have run
across work that honestly makes me ache with envy (Joe Ferguson’s writing would
be the most recent example, Barack Obama’s fortitude is the strongest, and my
father’s ability to love the longest surviving). I suspect you will find it
impossible to believe that, instead of wanting those people to disappear before
anyone finds me falling short in comparison, I want them around to admire and
learn from.
Envy, as I know it, is not a negative emotion. I appreciate
people who give me reason to envy them.
Now that I have explained this in detail, I expect you to
keep your green under control.
www.sandyknauermorgan.com
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