writing exercise #2

articles | Gather



Writing Exercise #2 - Now Write - First Person
by Sandy Knauer |edit
January 28, 2007 12:58 AM EST to group: Now Write!tags: writing blind, write, now write, writing help, creativity, writing exercises rating: 7.7/10 (20 votes) | comments: 23

Lacy has her on hold. I know why she called; they’re on the rampage again and she wants my help.


Most of them don’t have any idea what took place, nor do they care. Some want drama and others attention. They team with anyone who promises what they seek, and then, follow their leaders without question. I support the pathetic losers because it is easier to hurt her than it is to deal with them.


I wish I could tell her the truth even though I’m not sure which of us I hope to relieve with that disclosure. Either way, it would probably be easier on my conscience than watching her suffer the consequence of my sorry, spineless silence.


If I pick up that phone, I’ll hear the disappointment in her voice and expose the weakness in mine. If I had her strength, I would do exactly that. I don’t.


I should have written; she would probably be grateful for a letter. I could have had Lacy type something appropriate and send it with her last paycheck, maybe added a bonus. Why didn’t I think of that?


The phone. Shit. I could apologize, explain, maybe smooth it over, and win her respect.


If not respect, maybe she would at least understand, or forgive me for ignoring her pleas for help. She seems like the kind of person who might forgive the inexcusable, which makes this whole situation even more unforgivable. How can I live with myself?


How do I tell her that, because I sold my soul, I had to feed her to the snakes? They complain more; they might even leave. The board doesn’t care how I keep them, only that I don’t let an entire department walk. It’s about my paycheck - nothing personal.


The deal is, I watch her sink, or I go under myself. I’m not suicidal.


Damn, I don’t think I want to be homicidal either, so I can’t win. My deal with her was just a superficial promise. Theirs involves money. I think she would believe me if I told her I didn’t plan it this way? Why can’t I pick up that phone and tell her that?


I’m sure the headaches would end if I would just stop ignoring her and admit the truth. Then again, maybe I deserve the pain.


“Lacy, tell her I’m on another call and will be out the rest of the day.”


Comments: 23

Sandy, this expose is raw and brutal. It's imaginative and the innuendo is used with just the right amount of hidden meaning and exposure. I gave this a "10" because it is well executed, graphic and made me think.


Madame Donna C. commented Jan 28, 2007

Thank you, Donna. And some idiot who doesn't have a clue gave me the one, I guess.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 28, 2007 |delete

This was really creative, sandy. It's tough to write a character that has these "flaws," let alone write the character in first person. You created an interesting situation and let us discover it one tiny morsel at a time. Very nicely done!


Corina Carrasco commented Jan 28, 2007

well, you can handle the one-- it's normal. If you don't get a one, you're not socially cceptable around here. ask me-- I know all about it too.

Like the internal debate and the vacillation. It offers possibility for doubts, good and bad in an unknown situation and the balancing act is very good.


Mary C Legg commented Jan 28, 2007

Thanks, Corina and Mary. This assignment was difficult for me because I always try to talk things through with people. I think, because I am open and honest, most people give me the same in return. I express my thoughts and feelings and ask questions of others if they don't find it as easy to do these things as I do. Consequently, I usually think I know where I stand with others. The only situations I could think of to use for this exercise were those in which the other person refused to talk to me, and I could only imagine what might possibly make me react (or not) to another person that way.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 28, 2007 |delete

This is what I want to see in a writing sample --- style and flair. It makes me want to see what else you've written.

There's nothing like vigorous prose.


David B. commented Jan 28, 2007

Thank you, David. Since someone rated this 'one' and someone else suggested that a first-person exercise with only one character 'fails', I might submit a second entry for this exercise, using two characters and dialogue.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 28, 2007 |delete

This exercise was hard for me, too. I went back to my teenage years and fights with my mother and found I did not want to revisit it, especially from her point of view. So something came to me that was totally fiction, but I am not happy with it. It is in the third person. I don't like the dialog and it seems heavy handed. I may take it down later today.
I haven't tried to write fiction in a long time.
Sandy, your writing is good as always. The people who leave ones are not reading you.


audrey c. commented Jan 28, 2007

Good greif, it's ;like I have heard the exact same dialogue in my own head under the same circumstances!
It's hard managing personnell for thos ivory-tower folks.
All they see are numbers, they have no idea what it takes to run a business!

Great write - and a thumbs-down to the person who can't spell '10'.....


Eric Spindler commented Jan 28, 2007

thanks again Sandy...I wouldn't worry too much about ratings for these exercises. They are after all supposed to be practice to help us become better at writing.


Travis B. commented Jan 28, 2007

Thanks, Audrey, Eric, and Travis.

Travis, the rating doesn't bother me. The ignorance and ugliness behind the rating does. I still hold some faint delusion about this being an adult site.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 28, 2007 |delete

Nice Sandy. The turmoil and the ultimate avoidance is honest and understandable. Great read.


Lisa D. commented Jan 28, 2007

Very nice, Sandy.


Melissa I wanna be a pirate princess when I grow up commented Jan 28, 2007

This is very sharply told, and though not the most comfortable piece, I'd still have to give it a 10.


♪Joanne Huspek commented Jan 28, 2007

Beautifully done. My stomach was in knots, even with this short piece.


Nancy Spivey commented Jan 28, 2007

I could "feel" the internal debate. Very realistic.


jadan x. commented Jan 28, 2007

And some idiot who doesn't have a clue gave me the one, I guess.

Probably some idiot who got hit between the eyes with this and shot the messenger...


Lori Leidig commented Jan 29, 2007

True, Lori!
Sandy, this had to be difficult to write, and I could also feel it, though your writing tends to do that to me. A ten from me. The ones are just people who are jealous!


Marilyn N. commented Jan 29, 2007

Sandy, wonderful! Raw and full of doubt. Real life, on the screen.


Expat Stevo commented Jan 29, 2007

Thanks, everyone. This was difficult to write but it helps to put myself in the other person's position and feel what I believe is his/her turmoil.

I assigned a similar exercise to a class a couple of years ago. In the discussion afterwards, most of the class said they had either forgiven the person they had written to, or at least come closer to peace with their emotions regarding the circumstances.


Sandy Knauer commented Jan 29, 2007 |delete

Sandy - "To thine own self be true!"

I felt the pain and have been in this position myself. It is very good.


Joe T. commented Jan 29, 2007

The tension comes through so clear. There is nothing so frustrating as having someone refuse to speak with you. It was interesting to see it from the other side of the coin. Very good. You are inspiring me to get busy on one of these.


Vicky "I Hate Snow" D. commented Jan 29, 2007

I like the dialogue, Sandy. This is a difficult exercise, but I feel you pulled it off well.

Writing about such a painful experience is not easy, and you have concisely written of a situation everyone can relate to!


Cheri D. commented Jan 29, 2007

Join the Conversation



About Gather | Careers | Contact | Privacy | Terms of Service | Community Guidelines | Advertise on Gather
Build 6472, "Australia"; Copyright © 2007 Gather Inc. All rights reserved.