Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Where Do I Fit In?

Where Do I Fit In?

In addition to the traditional offerings most generous, doting parents lavish on a child, mine infused a lifeline to their unrestricted generosity. They gave me the world, by allowing me to see the people in it without filters. They augmented their love for me by inviting the world in to love me with them, and they backed me to the wall where I had a wide-scope, eye-level view of people, without ever having to look up or down at anyone.

Through that wide scope, I learned invaluable lessons about perception. No matter how much one person belittles other, misquotes or misrepresents them, ignores facts or logic, or deprives others of what he has, none of that increases the wealth or intelligence of the first person. Even when that person puffs his chest and sneers down his nose at a dropped head, the person wearing that dropped head maintains his original wealth and intelligence. Perception is the only thing a bully affects, and it only favors him in his own mind.

No one becomes honest or patriotic by calling another a liar or a traitor. People are what they are, and no amount of name-calling or swearing otherwise will change that. One man can’t drink another thirsty. Contrast does not produce, assumption will not build, fear will not protect, and denial cannot erase. Perception does not replace experience or knowledge.

That scope also showed me we have no absolute control over what we receive, but always have control over what we give. When we tap out on receiving, we will always have more to give. I also noticed that what we give comes back, although seldom from the people we have given to, often in a different form, and usually more valuable than we’d imagined. Those who count favors and pennies often cheat themselves.

I treasure all of these lessons, but appreciate seeing myself as part of the bigger picture more than any other. I was unlike any other person in that wide scope. There might have been a dozen other white-skinned, blue-eyed, tall females present, but they wouldn’t all be able to type eighty-five words a minute or ace their exams without studying. I knew my father would be home for dinner every night, help me with my homework, and drive me to my music lessons. My mother would have breakfast on the table and my school uniform ironed when I came down the stairs in the morning. But that didn’t mean any other parent would, or every other parent could do the same.

Where did I fit in, since I had done nothing to deserve my special status? For me, the answer was simple. I fit in the bigger picture by wanting to be there, and by sharing my parents with the world.

Here they are world – I will continue to do my best to share what they have given me.

2 comments:

suaros said...

The phone must have rung because your mother left your uniform half ironed. I’m sure she’ll get back to it later.

I’ve experienced the good karma aspect of giving as well. Along with that I recognize the flip side and when my ego feels like lashing out my thought of potential karma payback keeps it in check most of the time. Not all the time. I’m sure I’ll be unpleasantly surprised in some unexpected way.

I know a guy who takes no personal responsibility and blames everyone else for his misfortunes. I think we all know someone like that. He is vindictive. He didn’t like his manager telling him what to do so he placed some open butter packets around the walkway leading to his desk. The manager’s heel slipped on the butter and she sprained her ankle. That’s what he told me, laughing at the prank. I don’t know if it happened because I do not work with him. But I do know he has it in him to do something like that. He is like a male version of Serina.

Don’t know if buttered karma ever visited. I’ve lost touch with him. I wonder what unexpected way was in store for him?

Sandy Knauer said...

I don't know what happened to the rest of this. Thanks for letting me know it isn't all here. I copied a number of articles here in one evening and will go back now to make sure I haven't done this with any others.

I do believe we all know someone who takes no personal responsibility for anything. It's still hard to imagine that they would laugh at physically hurting others - as your guy did after the butter incident. Do you think some people have no conscience or feelings for others?

Thanks for finding me here. I'm off now to find the rest of this story because Mom would never leave anything half-ironed.